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15-Apr-2020 13:57

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I wore a slinky silk dress and intentionally went to the party alone, to force myself to mingle.

I ended up in a long conversation with an older, seemingly early-50s cardiologist.

Three months deep into my break-up, I have experienced almost all of them.

First there’s shell shock, followed by denial, and then some combination of paralysis, anger, and loneliness.

It was everything from, “Babe, how about that threesome? ” to the complete non sequitur “I was on TV this week.” Finally, he asked if the reason I wasn’t responding was because I was too dumb to understand simple English.

To make the situation worse, the doctor then took out a cock ring from his bedside table, which he informed me was necessary for him to stay hard.

But an hour later, walking into the specified bar in the West Village, I immediately understood why people take the time to screen each other via text.

Tinder guy turned out to be two of my worst fears combined: a short actor.

He was wearing high-waisted khakis and had overgrown nose hairs, but he was really sweet, and was becoming funnier with every sip of punch I took.

Primed by my screening of I was eager for an atypical experience, so I agreed to go back to his apartment.Sometimes the idea of “getting out there” seems like torture, but you have to do it, because the alternative is a life of sitting home alone, eating bags of beef jerky while watching trying to will myself into the headspace of the film’s main character, who takes great pleasure in fucking strange men—something I, too, used to find sexy and exciting, before my ex-girlfriend tore out my heart and threw it in the trash along with my will to live and my problematically high sex drive.



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