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We were incurious about one another, and there was nothing we could do about it. Entering the cafe hopefully, wearing something relatively cute, putting on a bright face, cultivating positivity, scanning the room expectantly, and then… My last date looked a little like Danny De Vito but more cartoonish and a lot less fun. If I met a man like that, and he made me laugh, and he was warm, and we connected, of course I’d fall for him. Maybe you grew up around smokers and it seemed natural for you to smoke, too.Maybe your partner smokes and it’s a way that you spend time together.Women who get support from their partners have an easier time quitting.But some partners may not be supportive, or may try to control the smokefree process.Drifting around an exhibit at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art? In a life packed with work, friends, neighbors, home life, care-taking, reading, writing, hiking, and hobbies, possibilities for chance encounters are exceedingly rare.
If you think your partner might not understand your quit attempt or won’t want you to quit smoking, there are other ways to find the support you need.
Chances of meeting an “appropriate” match at my local market are nil. Sometimes, when I have a few precious minutes between sautéing the onions and adding the kale, listening to the Jazz Oasis on KCSM, perfectly happy, I sigh and think, wouldn’t it be lovely to have a mate to cook with, to be sharing all this with a lover.
With all that said, of course online dating attracts me. Then, I pick up my phone to begin where I left off the last time I quit online dating in disgust. Online dating turns people into little more than commodities. We set the date for the shortest time possible, knowing that he is she is unlikely to be “the one,” freeing ourselves to begin the hunt again.
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Relationships are common reasons why people start or continue to smoke.
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