Oprah online dating advice

03-Dec-2019 22:25

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In my 20s, when the wrong man asked me out, I usually lied. When the soap opera actor or the triathlete didn't call—both of whom had looked deep into my eyes and proclaimed their attraction to me—I did nothing. I had, by this time, trained myself to listen closely to what my deepest instincts said in the first nanosecond of meeting a man. Johanne says he's more confident in my feelings for him, knowing I looked long and hard to find him. The parade of men who preceded him helped me know myself better.

I was either (a) busy, (b) dating someone else, or (c) moving to Siberia for a year. A few talked me into dates or, worse, relationships. It's embarrassing to admit that I was learning the very basics about personal boundaries at the age of 34. Like a suit of comfortable, lightweight body armor, my newly declared boundaries kept me safe. "Hmm...maybe," I thought when I spied him waiting across the Art Deco lobby of a seaside hotel. I never expected my man would come from a faraway continent where he was raised on a tea plantation, but he does. They repeatedly tested my ability to speak up or to stay quiet when I needed to.

I've got a number of brilliant, beautiful, frank, funny friends, all capable of remarkable things, but writing an enticing online profile does not seem to be one of them. Some people offer their services in soup kitchens, some volunteer to shampoo crude oil off of sad, gooey pelicans; I rewrite online dating profiles.

😍🙌🏾 @Oprah gave me some love advice a while back...

Her response to my update = 😭❤️⁣ ⁣ Plus, she said “We did it together! ) #Fairy Godmother #Queen O A post shared by Zuri Hall (@zurihall) on "Look at what we did together! His name is Sean Culkin, and he's a tight end for the NFL's Los Angeles Chargers.

It all started when my pal Paula asked me to figure out why she wasn't getting a response to her JDate ad. " What I get is that we all want to be loved for exactly who we are. " It wasn't long before news that I'd taken Paula's profile from drab to fab spread far and wide (okay, a couple of people in Brooklyn heard). I've seen the dumb, the dull, and the klutzy; the bitter, the brazen, and the too cute by half.

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I didn't have to read beyond her opening sentence—"I like the library! All the exclamation points in the world couldn't save that line. But surely there's a juicier way to bring up your literary fetish. I've studied strangers on the Web and friends at my kitchen table, and here's what I've learned: Let's review—the key to this whole online profile thing is really quite simple: Be direct while maintaining an air of mystery; be modest while flaunting what you've got; be flexible while explaining what you need, while keeping it brief and making it flirty and not getting cute; and be yourself, only more so, only not so much more so that you exaggerate, intimidate, or irritate.

The next day was tea with an airfreight handler, followed that evening by a walk with a real estate lawyer. A lifetime of pent-up loneliness came unglued all at once. No matter how the date went, I reminded myself I was taking a stand for what I wanted. If he clearly wasn't interested—like the swing-dancing entertainment lawyer or the Harvard-educated wine expert—then he was simply another woman's catch. About four or five men survived through fourth or fifth dates before I said goodbye.