Online dating sites for freaks
I logged in last summer, quite early on in my subscription, to find a vaguely familiar face among my matches. I know it’s the only reason people read this blog, and you’re all torn by the idea that whilst a small part of you wants me to be happily settled with a soul mate, a bigger part of you wants every date to be nightmarish fucking disaster so you can read all about it in one of my incredulous rants.It was bugging me all day, where had I seen her before. I’m normally flawlessly OCD-like with cute girls’ faces. Well, naturally I wasn’t going to let a year of e Disharmony faze me, so I’m back on again, and so the endless ping pong of dating site disappointment is set to continue.I come across as some kind of weirdo because nowhere on my profile does it say “I’ve been to 60 countries and want to make it to 100 before the end of the year”.There are no photos of me riding elephants, kissing tigers, participating in flashmobs or playing the flute on the international space station.
Here are 10 apps that satisfy the millennial itch to date. The popular dating app that people love to hate is insanely popular, and promises to facilitate millennial to millennial contact, whether you're in the mood to settle down, hookup, or something in between.A very cute oriental girl called Steph e-mailed me, seemed very keen – it was a breath of fresh air after all the fruitless searching. What are the chances, eh, that 15 minutes before my subscription was due to expire, a hot Asian girl messaged me.She seemed genuinely into me, she was in my age group, was very eloquent, profile was nice. AND I’d recently been perfecting some nice homemade Chinese cooking. Thing is, she mailed me quite late, about a quarter to midnight, so I’d decided to get back to her in the morning with my usual introductory mail of “HEY HEY PLEASE DON’T GO ANYWHERE, YOU’LL LIKE ME HONEST.” I went back on the site in the morning to find myself locked out and unable to look at her profile. I think she might have been the only girl in those 12 months who made the first move and e-mailed me first. I’m sure it is, although it could also be, now that I think about the sequence of events, more likely that e Harmony are a bunch of fucking scamming cunts.She went on at length about how a guy’s looks are not important, and these things don’t impress her.
And about how attracted she was to intelligent, witty men. In the opening to her profile she says “the sexiest part of a man is his brain.” And then at the end of her profile she says “Must be at least 5 foot 10”.
Millennials are a strange breed: We want what we want when we want it, but what we want tends to be very specific, and, if the 10 zillion sleek startups out there are any proof, it has to be glossy, user-friendly and full of clean lines.