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One of the most difficult aspects of recovering from Narcissistic abuse, is having to watch the one that hurt you walk away completely unscathed.
Many move on and behave like you and your relationship never even existed, while you are still deeply affected by the trauma.
This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC.
If you knew what actually went on inside their heads you would quickly discover that that isn’t a place you would even want to visit, let alone live there.
I’ve discussed at length, with the Narcissists I counsel, about how a healthy person is responsible for their own self-worth and self-esteem and that another person’s inability to see their worth doesn’t alter its value. They are dependent upon other people to give them their worth.
All of them cognitively understand the concept, but none of them can integrate it into their lives. I can tell myself (what other people think) doesn’t mean anything, but it never works.
What I try to tell people, who are having a hard time with this, is that that’s not the case. Having Narcissistic Personality Disorder doesn’t mean you don’t suffer any consequences, or any punishment – having Narcissistic Personality Disorder is much, much worse – it’s a life sentence.
Many say they wish they could be like their Narcissist, not caring about other people’s feelings and the truth is that Narcissists are not Psychopaths, they do have doubts, they do have a conscience.They then tell themselves that if you were the one for them, then their feelings wouldn’t have changed and the devaluing phase begins.