Dating advice for ugly guys

14-Jul-2020 13:25

If I don’t find anyone until I’m 18,thats too late.

I’ll completely give up searching “love” and I’ll just join some satanic cult and listen to suicidal songs or something.

I got only a couple of matches from average-ugly girls.

The problem is that I’m an useless ugly piece of shit with standards. I don’t care the least about a girl’s personality unless she looks as good as a Korean model.

That has nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with the world we live in.

We live in a world where male beauty was valued but hardly a priority and where men are discouraged from validating one another about how they look.

Women, on the other hand are incredibly vocal and supportive of their friends, even strangers, in no small part because they don’t have the specter of “fag” looming over their heads.

So you’re left without validation, without reassurance or comfort; your guy friends can’t provide it because guys are uncomfortable with expressing emotion or appreciation and women can’t provide it because guys freak out at them when they do. The odds that the chub you still have on your face will melt away as you hit your 20s is rather astoundingly high, especially with your height and current weight. Hell, even after my Long Dark Night of the Soul, my Batman moment when I fell into the PUA scene, didn’t immediately fix things for me.

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My friends keep telling me I have a great personality but let’s face it, personality is irrelevant if you don’t look good. And even if through a miracle a girl I find hot likes me, I’ll probably hardly fail to flirt with her since I HAVE 0 EXPERIENCE and I’ll just look like and idiot. I’ll find myself at 25 still a virgin unable to find “love”.

I know it because I tried getting new skills and stuff but it’s pointless because no matter how hard I try, I’m useless at everything.

I tried dating apps, but even in my best pics, I look bad.

I get that you are feeling things strongly – I refer you back to the whole “18 years old” thing – but the truth is: if I had a nickel for every dude who told me that he made Quasimodo look like a Men’s Health model but turned out to be completely average looking, Elon Musk and I would be having mecha fights outside of Los Angeles right now. You’re engaging in what You Tuber Contra Points famously calls Masochistic Epistemology: if it hurts, it must be true. All that you’re doing is emotional self-harm, the psychological version of cutting.

The only difference is that you’re cutting your soul and your self-esteem, not your flesh. If you want to find love and lose your virginity before all-is-lost-woe-and-alack, then the first step is to stop treating self-harm as a path to truth instead of intellectual mutilation.

Or would you immediately assume that she’s setting you up for an especially cruel joke?

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