10 dating tips for the christian man
I am fearful the Christian community has irresponsibly coerced men and women into marriage through cultural pressure.
If you aren’t ready for marriage, or if you do not want to get married, you are not sinning.
If the relationship is outpacing knowledge of character, reputation, and knowledge of godliness, then that is way too quick.
But if you are in a context in which you have watched the person’s godliness, you have marveled at their character, you have rejoiced in what God has done in them and through them, then speed isn’t a big factor. What drove the speed wasn’t a flare-up of emotions — it wasn’t a fear of loneliness, or desperation, like maybe this is my only shot. Rather, there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God.
It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse (more on that later).
Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Now, please, please, please don’t be a freakish weirdo. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage?
The first instance in the Bible where God is not pleased comes when God sees Adam living in the Garden of Eden alone (Gen. Singleness can be a gift from God, but don’t use it as an excuse to be lazy. And to my church’s credit, they drilled this one point home constantly. Dating and marriage are not for those who rely on another person for joy, peace, and purpose. Is there such a thing as “too fast” in Christian dating?How do you know if a dating relationship is moving too quickly emotionally, or too quickly toward marriage?Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: you will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god (more on this later). There is another dangerous mentality in Christian circles I want to address…”flirting to convert.” Look…Christians are called to be missionaries.
The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. I am going to be real cautious about saying there is such a thing as “too fast.” What I would rather ask is this: What’s driving the speed?